During
the month of November there seems to be a lot of focus on gratitude. We’re
taught as children how important it is to express our appreciation when others give
us something or do something for us. Although we learn to say thank you, I don’t
think we fully understand why it is important to be a grateful person. These
lessons seem to focus on the one-way street of being considerate of others
feelings. Although important, consideration of others doesn’t
fully hit the mark because an ‘attitude of gratitude’
has significant, lasting benefit for the grateful person while only leaving a
temporary impression on the receiver of that gratitude.
The
real benefits of gratitude include the following:
Mental
·
Increased positive emotions
·
Being more alert, awake, and feeling alive
·
Experiencing more pleasure or joy
·
Being more optimistic, happier
Social
·
Being more forgiving
·
Increased generosity, compassion, and
helpfulness
·
Feeling more connected, less lonely or alone
·
Being more outgoing, demonstrative, or animated
Physical
·
Lower blood pressure
·
Healthier immune system
·
Fewer aches and pains
·
Better sleep or sleeping longer, feelings
refreshed in the a.m.
·
Tendency to eat healthier and exercise more
Because
there are so many personal benefits that go with being grateful, would it not
be wise to try focusing on being more appreciative all year long rather than
just this one month? We should embrace a Lifestyle of Gratitude. Let’s
be grateful people all year long. When we are grateful, we see the world in a
different light, we’ll realize how wonderful life
really is and we will find true joy.
Here
are 10 things to do and remember that can help us be more grateful people:
Recognize the blessing of living in peace
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| Streets of Sarajevo, circa 1993 |
Do
you realize the peace we are actually enjoying right now? We do not experience
anything that would compare with living in a city being bombarded with air
attacks. We do not have to worry about a sniper when we try to cross the street
to get a cup of coffee or a gallon of milk. We are not faced with an
Rwandan-like holocaust. We do not have to fear that our neighbors might try to
kill us because our family has a different lineage or religion. Living in peace
is a great blessing. This alone is reason for the sincerest gratitude.
You are actually rich
In
our society, there is a real focus on obtaining more and more money. In fact,
this may be the chief reason that makes it hard to be grateful. How rich are
you really? Check out the Global Rich List. There you can enter your annual
income to see how you compare to the world. Chances are, you enjoy an income
that is greater than 95% of the rest of the world. Did you realize you are in
the top tier of the world’s richness ranking?
Health and prosperity, you have it.
Life
expectancy through most of history has been only 20-35 years. In fact, most of
that time was spent dealing with diseases, poverty, and general misery. It has
only been in the last century that human life expectancy has increased
significantly at all. The current average of 67 years is far greater than any
time in the history of man. In fact, the standard of living we have probably
come to take for granted is far greater than almost all people in the history
of the world. Even kings as recent as the 18th century could not
expect to live like we do today. If we consider the wealth we have combined
with the health we enjoy, we are probably healthier and more prosperous than
99% of all the other people in human history.
Appreciate the good things in life
We
have a tendency to see the bad things that happen in our life without
recognizing the good things. This is actually pretty sad. Of course, when we
watch or read the news, most of what we find is the bad, the denigrated, and
the worst of what the world has to offer. We should take the time and make the
effort to recognize the things that are good, even the little things matter. A
couple weeks ago as I was walking through the isles of the grocery store, a
stranger smiled at me. That act of kindness is a sure sign that hope is still a
part of this world. When just one person can call you a friend, that’s
an important reason to be grateful. Just a few “little things”
can add up to great things.
A Journal
Many
of us keep a record of our thoughts and experiences. The focus of our records
can be directed more toward the good things that have happened and a little
less on the bad. Writing about the things that impress you and recording the
things that are good helps us remember them more clearly. When life takes a
turn toward the dark and dreary and it becomes more difficult to be grateful,
take a moment to read past entries in the journal. The journal then becomes a
source of strength that can help overcome the hard times.
A sliver of good
Sometimes
life’s events seem to pummel us with bad after bad. A few
years ago, our family seemed to be beset with problems, loss and turmoil. I
even had a couple friends comment on how difficult it must be, that they could
not imagine being able to deal with the challenges we faced. Although there was
a lot of difficulty, there were little things behind the bad that were
positive. Those little positive aspects of the trials were huge blessings in my
life. I would not even consider trading away those good things to make the bad
disappear. It is a difficult thing but we need to understand there are always
positive things behind all the bad things that happen. At the very least, bad
things provide valuable lessons for which we should be grateful.
Gratitude Sessions
Theory
without practice means very little in our lives. Knowing we should be grateful
won’t help much if we do not practice being grateful.
Arrange a time to specifically focus on recognizing those things for which you
are grateful. A “session of gratitude”
doesn’t have to be more than five to 10 minutes of thinking
about the good things that happen and expressing gratitude for them. It would
do well to have daily recognition of the good.
Positive Begets Positive
Two
negatives don’t always make a positive. It does
in math but it doesn’t when were talking about people.
You will be like the people with whom you surround yourself. If you spend time
with people who are always complaining, it will be most difficult to be
grateful. Have you ever rubbed a nail or paperclip against a magnet? The nail
or paperclip becomes magnetized. That is what happens when we rub elbows with
people, we tend to take on the same characteristics as the people with whom we
associate.
Giving makes us happy
When
we focus on those things we have rather than the things we lack, we tend to be
more grateful. Giving to others fosters a mindset of gratitude because we tend
to focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have. You really have a
hard time giving something to someone when you don’t
have it to give. The tendency to focus on receiving is human and very common.
It is also a trap of the mind that makes us unhappy and difficult to be
grateful.
Resolution of Gratitude
We
can practice and recognize everything in the previous nine points but the
ultimate decision whether to be grateful comes down to a personal choice. Make
a promise to yourself to focus on being grateful, to be a grateful person. You
control who you are and how you feel unless you relinquish that control to
someone or something else. So, make the decision, make it happen.
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“A
man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous
being;
and happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious
adjustment
of the inner with the outer of the man with his surroundings.” - James Allen
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