Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Embarrassingly Useful

A guy goes to the store with a list of items to buy. Everything is going swimmingly until he gets to the tampons. What guy enjoys buying female hygiene products? I can’t think of any guy who would put that at the top of his most desired purchase. Still, logical thought dictates he isn’t buying it for himself. All worry about that purchase is solely created from inside his tiny little brain. Kotex, on the other hand has other uses that might be considered manly. A Kotex pad in the first aide kit would provide incredible soaking abilities you’ll not find in many other products. I think it would not be bad to place one of these in your kit before your next hunting or camping trip.
There are other ingenious devices and gizmos that provide sincere benefits but aren’t necessarily something we want others to know we have or are thinking of buying. Here’s a list of a few products we’d probably think of using if we could get them while people were looking the other way.

I think if there were a poll, hotdogs would come out pretty high on the list of foods people like to eat. What about those things people like to put on those dogs? Chili, onions and sauerkraut all have a nasty habit of coming back to the party after it is over. Bad breath is one thing for which many products have been marketed successfully. No one is all too worried about going into a convenience store to pick up a pack of gum or mints. Even if it comes down to begging, we don’t normally find it too embarrassing to get that solution. What about the gas, though? If you eat, your body will generate gas. It’s part of the digestive process. Even those people who’ve been successful keeping the rest of the world ignorant of it, have it. A company called The Pond Inc is Marketing a product line known as Subtle Butt Gas Neutralizer. Seriously, someone figured how to use a charcoal filter to neutralize flatulence! How cool is that?!!? Well, would you not want to have the power to fart without the consequence?

Long, lustrous hair is the envy of the bald and not-so-bald worldwide. It is a sign of vibrant youth and vigorous health. Television, movies and novels all use hair to help portray everything people want in their lives. So much of my time is wasted on commercials about hair care and products to make it more shiny, stronger and thicker. Personally, I go with just about any shampoo that doesn’t make my hair fall out and carries a price point I don’t find overwhelming. I’ve spent a lot of time waiting in the hair care isle while others in my family stand perplexed by all the choices available to them.

There is unwanted hair, too. Razors, hair removal crèmes and other devices that seem to be inquisition rejects abound. I’ve seen coils of wire that just pluck the hair off legs. I’ve seen bloody legs after a bad razor was used. I’ve experienced razor-burn that seemed to take hours to go away. Then there’s the hair in hard to access areas, visible to everyone who would look. Ears and nose should be outwardly bald. This seems to be a universal attitude. If there were a simple way to eliminate this unwanted hair, I’m sure more baldness would be found. I have never heard anyone complain of ear or nose baldness. There are various companies marketing products that help eliminate hair from these small crevices in the head. From specially designed scissors to small electrical devices, there are myriad solutions for every ear or nose. Now, if you could just find the privacy necessary to use them, you could pretend to be afflicted with nose or ear baldness.

A survey suggested 40% have problems swallowing pills. Most of these people are not willing to talk to their doctor about the problem they face when prescriptions require taking a pill whole. If you are one of millions who have trouble swallowing pills, then you know the dreaded feeling of watching the doctor write you out a prescription. What if there was a solution that would work for children and adults alike. A few different solutions are available. One of these is the Oralflo Pill Swallowing Cup. The design of the cup allows you to drink the pill down without the stress or worry usually involved. No more chewing or crushing, just a simple swallow. Another similar product is the Pill Takers Cup.
How do we get by when our problems are so personal? We seek out products that will help. Getting those products without drawing attention to us will sometimes require a little creativity. It is the creative mind that wins every time!
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