Sunday, January 03, 2010

Making my will mirror His.

Speaking to his Son Helaman, Alma implored that he “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:37)

I’ve tried to instill in my children this same kind of practice. I have tried to teach them the importance of turning to our Heavenly Father both in times of prosperity and times of need. My heart aches as I listen to my daughters plead for us to be blessed with employment almost every time they pray. It seems no matter who acts the part of the mouth-piece, the same plea is part of the prayer. The stress lately has been incredible. That my children must go through this time with me does not help me feel less culpable or more empowered.

I found myself driving this morning with nothing but the sound of the road and my thoughts. When I had a passenger, she was sleeping. I just drove in silence, thinking. I wondered as I thought – wondered how long this might continue. I wondered what it was I was doing, or wasn’t doing, that was aggravating the situation. I wondered why our prayers seemed to be falling on deaf ears. Then, a thought came to me. Am I seeking to counsel with the Lord in all my doings or am I seeking to counsel the Lord in what He should be doing.

What then is His will for me and my family? How can I be sure I am seeking after those things?

In Priesthood meeting this morning, we spoke about Moral Discipline, the General Conference talk Elder D. Todd Christofferson shared this past October. Additionally, we covered Moses 1 in Gospel Doctrine. On the face of it all, these subjects do not seem to speak to the problems I am currently facing. However, there were a moments in each hour that seemed to suggest I had a few things to change in my life.

Our Heavenly Father cares deeply for each of us as a Father cares about his Children. Our Savior, Jesus Christ has experienced enough, descending below everything, to truly understand every trial we ever face. His love for us and His atoning sacrifice are enough to meet our every need. That wasn’t all today’s gospel doctrine class brought to my mind but some of the more important aspects of the class summed up in just a few sentences.

Truth does not change based on our perspective. There is a standard for each of us and that standard is the same. Again, not everything but something very important to me today.

How do these principles apply to my problems and to me today? I know I felt God’s love for me today as the spirit whispered such sweet confirmation to my soul. I just have to figure out what the Lord’s desires for my family are and how He wants me to act on that. I need to figure how to make my desires mirror His. No small task, that.

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