Thursday, August 20, 2009

Yep, there's an app for that too!


I’ve never been very good at the rate-on-a-scale-of-ten thing. Even as a young kid, I didn’t think much of the practice. I remember how gaga my friends were over Farrah. Man, we were only in 6th grade but they were certain she was something. More recently, the world has turned its sights on such celebrities as Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox. Oh, sure the women get excited about celebrities too. They prefer Brad Pitt, Ashton Kutcher and Denzel Washington. I just do not seem to understand. Maybe it’s because of all the subjectivity involved. What is beautiful to one isn’t necessarily beautiful to another.

When I hear about Miss USA or Miss America pageants, or even Mr. Universe, I wonder how it is the judges can say they’re being objective. Seriously, these guys aren’t sitting there at their desks with their calculators doing complex mathematical logarithms. The judges would be dressed a little differently if that was the case. Anyone for a pocket protector?

Enter the iPhone. You know about Apple’s hand held device that is better at everything than anyone else except one thing – being a phone. Seriously, how many applications are available on this thing? Over 50,000 apps. There seems to be an app for every purpose but if there were, more would not be developed. My brother has an iPhone. He has used a couple of the apps to my benefit. Last week, we were going to a restaurant in Salt Lake City and he used an app to get us there. I liked that GPS functionality. There is also an app called Vanity™ for the iPhone & iPod Touch.

Vanity™ is going to change how people evaluate people. OK, maybe not. There’s still that subjectivity thing getting in the way. However, this app uses the phone’s ability to take a quick snapshot, evaluates the picture and returns a rating of how hot that person is. Yes, it’s on a scale of 10. Girls, just how hot is that tall-dark-and-handsome wanting to buy you a drink? I’m pretty sure it won’t take too much convincing to get this vanity stricken hunk of man-meat to let you take his picture.

Once you’ve got the picture in the phone, all you need to do is get his face framed from forehead to chin, zoom in and center the blue vanity dots over features like his pupils, nose, mouth and chin. A well-manicured, slicked back hair-do just won’t help this evaluation. After everything is locked into place, the app will calculate a score. You can save the score or post it to myspace or Facebook for the entire world to see.

Wondering about the world’s celebrities? Yes, you can compare them to each other and to those you meet on the street. Head over to the Vanity Report and check it out. There’s mathematical proof there that Brad Pitt is overrated (Brad Pitt – 8.3, Angelina Jolie – 9.2).
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